As I walked into the airport pushing my trolley stacked with the three huge bags of innumerable useless goods I'd stacked myself up with, I felt ashamed of the tears streaming down my cheeks. The good byes with my parents was a completely different scenario. There were no tears, I felt happy about being there for my brother’s wedding even though it was a short trip of just three days. I was able to convince them that I shall be with them whenever they missed me and that there was absolutely no need for anybody to be sad or shed tears for after all we talk everyday over the phone.
Just the thought of saying bye to Anant brought tears to my eyes. I felt weak and miserable and wished I did not have to say bye at all. I cried right from the moment my bags were all packed and I had checked and double checked all my stuff. I had nothing more to do to keep my mind off the fact that I did not know when I would get to see him again. I cried as I hugged him goodbye at the airport, I cried each time I called him till I boarded my flight. I cried sitting in the airplane dreading to fall back into the regular grove of my life after the amazing vacation I had. Now that I sit and think about it here a 35000 feet above land, I do not feel so ashamed anymore. If anything I am yet again amused by god’s own ways of handling things.
I now know that there was nothing wrong in the way I behaved both the times. I know that my feelings are not biased towards someone I met just five years back (WE COMPLETE FIVE YEARS ON 18th NOVEMBER!! J) While saying goodbyes to my parents, although I was sad I did not cry cause I am their strength. I am the one supposed to look after them and assure them that I’ll be there for them, always. I know if need be, I shall fly across the seven seas to be with them. I know that my urge to look after them is stronger than anything else for me.
I cried like a baby saying bye to Anant cause he is my strength, he completes me. When I am with him, I have no worries cause I know he’ll take them all away for me. I know nothing can go wrong when he is around. Leaving him and going so far away made me feel so vulnerable, like being left in the cold dark world all by myself. It amuses me how I manage just fine all year long and spending just two days with him spoiled me enough to convince myself that I would not be able to survive on my own anymore. Now I know how much I yearn to be with him.
I am proud that the thought of him right now can bring such a warm feeling in my tummy, happiness in my heart and peace in my mind! I again fell in love with him during my short trip that I squeezed in to meet him! Damn he takes me over! God, I love him soo… My heart had again been stacked up with beautiful memories which would help me survive until we met again. Don’t know when that would be but right now it dint even matter! I know we are meant to be and nothing can change that. Ever.
Gearing up for the extremely hectic weeks ahead and the midterm tomorrow.
Peace.
