I learnt not to put out someone's number on a for-sale site (even if it is a university site!) without asking. Whether I might have taken permission to put it out on my Job CV a week back. Else, I might blow up a decent relationship with my to-be-room mates!

I also learnt not to put good news on my blog until it gets finalized till the last stitch!
Well, Anant's not coming to US with me this year. He got his admit deferred for next fall. Which is a good decision but all the same quite hard to accept. I shouldn't be cribbing about this here cause I know it must be harder for him. But I was simply devastated. For several reasons. Primarily cause I felt he'd worked really hard for this for over two years and he deserved to go more than anyone else I knew. I was angry at the decision he had to take pertaining to the circumstances.

It was weird how it took him to council me about him not going! I felt quite ashamed of myself but as I think about it, I felt that way cause I consider his case as my own.

Now, I get fits of nervousness thinking about being all alone in a strange country without him for a whole year! I guess god needs to make sure before letting us be together!

I've started buying stuff for my new home (although I'm not sure whether I'll be shifting in with the same two people!). A bit scared about the whole thing. I hope I do well. Cause I can not do with simply doing OK. I have to do well. So, hope I'm good enough for it!
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My body has developed its own immunity against soporific drugs. I have not been sleeping well lately and last night I just could not bear it so I took pills at about quarter to nine in the night. I was elated when I felt drowsy by about half past nine. So, I happily packed off to bed! Now the immunity I've developed cant stop me from feeling drowsy but it sends a weird sensation across my arms and limbs which makes it practically impossible for me to fall asleep. Its like an allergic reaction or something.

I fell into this weird state where I knew I was awake but kept getting nightmares, which incidentally felt very real! I just kept twirling in bed till about one when I finally sat up and massaged my legs cause they were aching in a funny way! I spent the next three and a half hours trying to get back to sleep cause now the effect of the drug had worn out so, I stopped getting that icky feeling in my arms and limbs. I just kept twirling in bed, clutching my pillow, covering myself with my sheet and then uncovering myself , turned over, lay on my back, on my left side, then right side, on my stomach, covered my face with my pillow, held onto my teddy bear. BUT NO SLEEP. At about four thirty, I heard my father walking around in the house, he goes for playing golf in the morning. He came and sat next to me as I pretended to sleep and then he kissed my forehead. I had to garner all the strength in my soul to stop myself from crying and to continue pretending to sleep.

Now I sit here writing as I can hear birds chirping and the dawn breaking outside my window.

I hate not being able to sleep. :(
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