Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
tunia



I gave my parents a surprise by coming for my brother’s wedding without notice. I wish my worthless friend Prashant would have captured their emotions on suddenly seeing me. All he managed to capture was my dog’s response as he was over whelmed by my father bursting into tears, my mother repeatedly calling out my name (as if to make sure I was the right person!) and my brother hitting me for some good reason! We had a blast at the wedding! I am so happy I impulsively booked my tickets two months back. I am proud of myself that I managed not to tell my parents about it and successfully gave them and my brother a wonderful surprise!

As I walked into the airport pushing my trolley stacked with the three huge bags of innumerable useless goods I'd stacked myself up with, I felt ashamed of the tears streaming down my cheeks. The good byes with my parents was a completely different scenario. There were no tears, I felt happy about being there for my brother’s wedding even though it was a short trip of just three days. I was able to convince them that I shall be with them whenever they missed me and that there was absolutely no need for anybody to be sad or shed tears for after all we talk everyday over the phone.

Just the thought of saying bye to Anant brought tears to my eyes. I felt weak and miserable and wished I did not have to say bye at all. I cried right from the moment my bags were all packed and I had checked and double checked all my stuff. I had nothing more to do to keep my mind off the fact that I did not know when I would get to see him again. I cried as I hugged him goodbye at the airport, I cried each time I called him till I boarded my flight. I cried sitting in the airplane dreading to fall back into the regular grove of my life after the amazing vacation I had. Now that I sit and think about it here a 35000 feet above land, I do not feel so ashamed anymore. If anything I am yet again amused by god’s own ways of handling things.

I now know that there was nothing wrong in the way I behaved both the times. I know that my feelings are not biased towards someone I met just five years back (WE COMPLETE FIVE YEARS ON 18th NOVEMBER!! J) While saying goodbyes to my parents, although I was sad I did not cry cause I am their strength. I am the one supposed to look after them and assure them that I’ll be there for them, always. I know if need be, I shall fly across the seven seas to be with them. I know that my urge to look after them is stronger than anything else for me.

I cried like a baby saying bye to Anant cause he is my strength, he completes me. When I am with him, I have no worries cause I know he’ll take them all away for me. I know nothing can go wrong when he is around. Leaving him and going so far away made me feel so vulnerable, like being left in the cold dark world all by myself. It amuses me how I manage just fine all year long and spending just two days with him spoiled me enough to convince myself that I would not be able to survive on my own anymore. Now I know how much I yearn to be with him.

I am proud that the thought of him right now can bring such a warm feeling in my tummy, happiness in my heart and peace in my mind! I again fell in love with him during my short trip that I squeezed in to meet him! Damn he takes me over! God, I love him soo… My heart had again been stacked up with beautiful memories which would help me survive until we met again. Don’t know when that would be but right now it dint even matter! I know we are meant to be and nothing can change that. Ever.

Gearing up for the extremely hectic weeks ahead and the midterm tomorrow.

Peace.


tunia
I know it for a fact now that even on a happy day I can’t sleep without having spoken to Anant before hitting the bed! Precisely that happened today when today I waited for him to call me before sleeping till about 1:30 in the morning (my usual time of sleeping) and I realized that he’d dozed off cause he couldn’t get through my number.
caboodle mix :: , , , , 7 reflections | edit post
tunia

Had a long long day! Mum is out of town and suddenly everyone seems to be aware that there is another twenty one year old lady in the house who should be able to manage things. I now know that its not easy for my mother to handle a home and her work as efficiently as she does! I did a sloppy job of being pseudo mommy for the first of four (I sense its going to seem longer) days!

The curd was too sour
The dog was not given food on time
There are no fruits for tomorrow
The kitchen is all dirty
House is messy
Water bottles(for keeping in the fridge) not filled
No dry towels in the bathroom


I am dead tired and ready to drop. Somehow finished writing blood sucking project report and I'm going to be out. Lets see how I fair tomorrow.

Arghhh... I feel pukish. Hope I'm not gonna be ill!

caboodle mix :: , , 10 reflections | edit post
tunia
My family is going through a phase. The more I muse about the same, I realise how living for over twenty years with my parents was not enough for me to know them completely.

I always thought they were not good at adapting to changes. I realise I was wrong, they are on the contrary, very resilient.

I always thought they would be apprehensive about me taking big decisions, especially ones with which they did not concede. On the other hand, they tried to understand the reasons behind me taking the decision and now they are actually quite encouraging about the same!

I ditested them on all the occassions when I was stopped from doing something. I used to feel that they simply exploited their right of being elder to me. Again, I realise how wrong I was and how my own good was hidden behind their decisions. How in my craze to do what I felt like, I would go blind and not understand my benefit behind their decision.

I realise I was foolish. I realise, I have been unfair on more than just one occassions to them. I have to make up to them. But, even saying this makes me loathe myself. How can I imagine repaying back anything to them?

I am sure there are many new pages to this book that I am yet to explore (I realise). I used to carp about not being understood, I found out I was the one who had to see more clearly.
caboodle mix :: , 4 reflections | edit post
tunia

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

Training is on, almost towards the end. People who were important for so long and then drifted away due to scaling of priorities have mysteriously come back into life. While those who were there to shelter through the tough phases have now become strangers! Life sure is a roller coaster ride. Whoever said that, was making perfect sense.

Staying at home these days since hostel seems to create a suffocating feeling in self. The room that I loved and wrote about passionately seems to give me the feeling like I was trapped in a tower. I guess everybody does need a change.

Have started preparations for the graduate record examination. So far parents are being supportive, but gradually have begun to see the doubts in their eyes. I'm gona give it my best shot no doubt.

Finally got internet connection at home, it has got a decent speed as well. (not as good as hostel though!) using my brother's old desktop since mine is in the hostel and he plans to buy a notebook. Was goin through the files when I came across this graffitti he had scribbled at the bottom of one of them. Love you Nakul, and I miss you so.. Woke up to a message he'd sent, though I dint get head or tail of what he was saying, it felt good! :)
caboodle mix :: , , , 0 reflections | edit post
tunia

Exams got over on the 1st.But,BVP doesn't give much of breathing time.Training started on the 4th."VLSI"(veri large scale integration).

With so much going on and with anant in town I barely had time for myself and obviously for new posts.

Well, training's still on but anant's left(miss you so much baby!!!) Feels like its been ages since I stayed home.Nop, I dont compramise on time with family because of him but ever since my grandparents shifted base,weekends are spent at their place which is precisely the time when come home!(stole one weekend to bake!which happened to be anant's last weekend in town,the shame and guilt account5ed to peaks and I decided to do what the poor guy had been asking for since the past whole year! yes,I know guys, will be baking for you very soon..guess the reverse psychology thing did work!!)

Anyways,got home on friday after a gruelling week of classes,lab,saying bye * sniff * and two bloody exams that completely sucked!!

finally got time to go for a swim [I love water! COMPLETELY! even when I'm out on an evenin, You offer me a drink and I'd happily settle for a glass full of ice and water!!! lol! * tempted * since hostel room has this little cooler that lately hasn't been running properly and with beads of sweat trickling down my back right now...that sounds like heaven!]

I'd been put into the pool at the mere age of one n a half!! (beleive it or not) with arm floats and a tube around my mid (which is the mid when ur body is just a feet tall????!!!) my brother swimming close by keeping a close watch and yet not making it too obvious lest I'd lose confidence..(he was 5!!mum dad trusted him with the little baby's life?????*sighs in deferance *)

So,I was going for a swim (I keep strayin!), on my way anant called,I parked the car aside to speak with him.Exchange of greetings and then first question asked, "Kitnon ko udaya??" ("How many did you knock off??") anyways,I took it in good humour and moved on,was supposed to pick pa from office on my way so he'df practice golf while I swam. reached his office, and first question asked, "Kya hua?,thok diya kissi ko??" ("what happened?, knocked off someone/something?") gawd!!!

Conclusion: I am a good driver.
Searched for more similarities in both the comments I received, apart from the "knocking off" part and..yup,got it "MEN!!!" * rolling of eyes *
caboodle mix :: , 2 reflections | edit post
tunia
ON THEIR 50th ANNIVERSARY


The simplest, most down to earth, humble, pure hearted people I've known so far, my naniji(grandma) and nanaji (grandpa). Naniji,always had this pleasant calm expression on her face, looking at which would take half your problems away, and the other half would vanish after spending time with her. No wonder my nanaji was crazy ♥ about her! J Even till his last breath, they hadn't spent more than 2days apart. Other than the ten unfortunate days, that I still dont understand why god made them go through.

They started their day by getting up early in the morning, at around five and having tea along with listening to our national song (vandey mataram by Bankimchandra Chatterji ). That is played on All India Radio every morning 0530hrs (which my mother now, starts her day with! ). Naniji couldn't start her day without writing to someone! (yes, writing a letter!).


My mother married an airforce officer because of which she kept shifting from one town to another. So, they kept in constant touch by writing to each other since both felt letters were more personal. She'd wrote to all her relatives. All her brothers and sisters. Both real and foster. She was the eldest daughter of her parents. With the birth of her younger brother,she lost her mother and she took over the responsibility of the household. Until my great grandfather remarried to my chhoti parnani ( great grandmum ). Who looked after all her children very well, not letting them know even once the diffrence of their origin!

They ( my grandparents ) started their lives together in Jaipur where my naniji and her sister-in-law (they lived like sisters, naniji called her 'ba' ) looked after the whole family. Since my nanaji had lost his mother early in his life. They shifted to Delhi, then Bangkok, then Delhi and then Bareilly.

They travelled the world together. Bangkok, Africa, States, Bhutan, Maynmar and loads of other places. That I am not sure of. My mother along with her three siblings spent the first half of her childhood in Bangkok. After coming back to India, nanaji worked for sometime and then retired with a comfortable salary and a bunglow in one of the most posh areas of the city.

We saw and learnt the concept of simple living and high thinking from them. Being one of the richest people in the locality, not one thing about the way they spoke or lived emphasized that. I feel,I should and why not? I am so proud of them. They lived for each other and for their family. Naniji was not the kinds who spent hours at her mandir,but rather would spend her whole day looking after people helpin them, talking to them. Spreadin smiles by simply being herself.

They gave birth to a daughter whom dey named moosi! (means petite in rajasthani ). She died at the age of two. Naniji went hysterical. She was about to give birth to another child when this happened. Her son ( prakash ) was born 2-3months after her daughter's death. The new born wasn't a healthy child and the doctors were stunned that he made it to the world. A few months later, after going through immense treatments, the baby could not make it and died early in the morning. Naniji knew it was coming but wasn't prepared. What could prepare a mother to lose her child? She suffered with Dysthymia ( a long-term, mild depression that lasts for a minimum of two years. By definition the symptoms are not as severe as with Major Depression, although those with Dysthymia are vulnerable to co-occurring episodes of Major Depression.).

After being treated by various doctors for over two years and under the loving warmth of her husband, naniji was coming through again. Around three years later she gave birth to a son.( R ajendra ),then two years later a daughter( Kaamna )another two years forth another daughter (Kavita,my mother) and two years later another! ( Rachna ). Naniji loved children,she beleived that god had given them so much, they could look after all the children well. Then why not.( obviously she was unaware of 'hum do hamarey do' J! ). She looked after nanaji's siblings and her children together. Since they were all almost the same age. They had three daughters and a son, all of whom have turned into fine adults. My mother's eldest sister, Kaamna died at the age of 23. In an accident. She had just been married 2years and had a son. She lived to see my mother and her youngest sister getting engaged, but could not make it to their wedding. My grandparents adopted her son, since living alone with his father was not something that would have been optimal and his foster mother could not look after him like her own child. They spent the rest of their lives framing the future of their son.

In february 2002, nanaji was diagnosed with cancer of the prostate. He spent the next three months between trips to the hospital for chemotherapy (A type of drug treatment used in cancer. There are over 50 different chemotherapy drugs available. The drugs are used in different ways according to the type of cancer, how advanced it is and the general health of the person being treated.Different chemotherapy drugs may be used alone or in combinations of two or more drugs.) and vising doctors in hope of some treatment. it started with a simple swelling of his foot, which everyone took lightly. Until the reports of his ultrasound came. Mama (their son) came to meet them as frequently as possible(from bareilley ). But, my grandparents couldn't make it through alone anymore. They had to shift in with him.

One morning naniji woke to a serious bout of vomiting and breathing problems. She had to be rushed to the hospital where she was admitted. After a week( which was the maximum time she had spent away from nanaji and the maximum that she could take! ), she started insisting on coming back home. The doctor promised her three more days and she could be off. Meanwhile nanaji visited her alternate days (he was bed ridden and needed help for all his daily chores ). She was to be discharged on the 24th of june(sunday). Nanaji expired at 11:30 pm on the 23rd. Mama rushed to the hospital to bring her home and brought her only in time to see nanaji close his eyes one last time. That day I lost both my grandparents. I say that because naniji lost the will to live then on. She could never understand why god kept them apart for the last ten days of their lives together. She became very ill. Refused to eat anything. The smile that all of us loved to see on her face had vanished for ever. One month later, 23rd july at 11:30 pm, she died on her way to the hospital in the ambulance after suffering a heart attack. My mami (her daughter-in-law) was the only one with her. She died smiling...her last words were " mein unkey paas jaa rahi hun... " ( " I am going to him.. ")

One whole month. All of us had tried to show her all the wonderful things in her life which she still had and could live for. But nobody could imagine her, having to live without nanaji. We would have been selfish to keep her. THEY WERE TRULY MADE FOR EACH OTHER.



I loved her from the first moment I saw her!!!
(00:00 hours after I was born)

I love both of them from the bottom of my heart and cherish each moment I have spent with them. I shall this all till my last breath and I thank god for having me know them.

caboodle mix :: , 3 reflections | edit post
tunia


Magestic, isn't he? oozes out power, royalty!
I was around eight, we'd gone for a picnic. I rode a horse, for the first time in my life *as far as my memory goes* and asked the owner of the horse how much he'd sell it for. He told me a certain amount and I started insisting on having it for a pet! On being refused to, I made an ugly grumpy face and refused to speak to my family for the rest of the trip.*yeah,I was dum*. From then on, I have big plansof living in a farm,with lots of animals. Horses, rabbits, ducks, swans, dogs, birds, cows.. The list could go on for ever! Wow! I'd be in heaven ...live amongst them like the family in "Summer at Country Side" by Enid Blyton. Can we sweetheart?
caboodle mix :: , 0 reflections | edit post
tunia
Memories I Shall Always Cherish :)

1989: Our family house was being made and every one had a say in it. All of us have a special corner in the house. The nursery for the kids, a well in the backyard, coconut,papaya,mango trees in the porch, a peaceful pooja in the basement for ammaji *grandmother* and an office for acha *grand father*.
A living area which would cradle memories for the next many generations to come! I still remember the little hill that needed to be broken down for the house to be built on.

1991-2000: From the upper kinderguarden till the 9th I was a nerd. Stood first in every grade. I loved it, and after that, I'll just say, I did not!

1993: I started learnin kathak from Mrs. Shobhana Narayan. I was the youngest dancer performing professionally in her troop.
1997: I got my first pet! My own dog! We named him 'Tuff'.
1998: I took part in my first debate and stood first. This was the beginning of my public speaking endeavor.

1999: I got 'Tuff', a handsome golden retriever who is now almost eight years old! (I lost my first pet when he was 9 months old)
2000: We shifted to New Delhi. I love this city! For, I have my whole family here, I met my best friends and Anant here.
2003: (November,18) Anant asked me out, its been four years of us sharing each moment of our lives.
2004: (June,1) A special day.
2005: (October,4) The best birthday ever!
(November,2) A special day.
2007: I told my parents about Anant, they took it wonderfully.
We met Aparna, my to be sister-in-law.
caboodle mix :: , , 0 reflections | edit post
Me
tunia
I am 21 years old. Here's about the people in my life.

Papa: He is undoubtedly the ideal man for me. He has been more a friend than a parent for us. I do not think there is anybody with whom I can share my mind as easily. He is my weakness, he is my world.

Mumma: She is the sweetest, simplest being on this earth. She is still a kid from within. As I grow up, I realise I am becoming a clearer reflection of her! I do not think I have fought more with anybody else on this earth.

Nakul: (my brother) He is four years elder to me. Until a few years back, our relationship was strictly that of an elder brother with his younger sister. Lately, I can see the age line fading and us becoming better friends.

Tuff: (my dog) My best adopted brat! :)

Anant: My boyfriend, my best friend, my anchor, my mind, my mentor. We have been together since the past four years. *touchwood*

Uttara: My younger sister whom I love a lot and I am very possessive about .

Chhavi, Nitika, Nishith, Shitij and Monu bhaiya: Cousins from my mother's side of the family who have been my best friends for ever since I remember.

Namrata: My best friend from school. She is my life support system.

Aparna: My foster sister! I am her life support system! *hehe*

Gunjan, Sandeep and Shrey: My best friends from college.

Sunaina, Megha and Tanvi didi: My seniors whom I am very attached with. We have had a lot of fun together! Life in hostel wouldn't have been the same without them.
caboodle mix :: , , 2 reflections | edit post