When I am bad, "I" handle myself the best.

I find bliss in my solitude.

Nobody but "I" seems to understand me.

I enjoy my own company the most.

I find myself talking more and more to myself.

I laugh when I am hurt.

A shoulder to cry on?
I prefer resting my burdens on my own knees,
wiping my tears against my own arms.

I have learnt to tell myself that there will be a brighter tomorrow.

I think I am getting more accustomed to the "real world".
caboodle mix :: , , 9 reflections | edit post
She cries out loud, shouts to her throat's might. Because no one can hear and no one seems to care. The weird shrilly noise aggravates into loud weeping marked with acerbity and tears start flowing. The night is so cold,almost chilly. The tear drops burning against her cheeks. She starts weeping uncontrollably. What had seemed to be anger had turned into immense sadness and was flowing out.

She suddenly felt weak. Her legs gave up on her and she fell on her knees. It hurt, but the pain felt good. She sat down, on the terrace floor. Her new best friend since the past few weeks. Sitting required too much energy. She lied down, not caring.

Her face resting on the ground. The tears mixed with the dust, sodding her face.Slowly she convinced herself into stop crying. Breathing heavily against the rough ground,she shifted a bit,bruising her face. She took deep long breaths. Then, not knowing what triggered it,she burst into tears once again. She had an exam the next day, end semister. Not even half way through with her aimed syllabus (completing it was out of the question).

She had to get up. She just had to pull herself together. She tried standing up, just in vain. Realising that baby steps was what she'd have to take. She sat down again. Pulled her knees close to her body, hugging them as tightly as she could. Resting her head on them. Weeping softly. She felt helpless. She would not let this happen. She looked at her watch, which was a blurr cause her tears blinded her vision. It was two in the morning. She sighed deeply, wiping her tears off her face and looked into the dark night for what felt like a lifetime.
caboodle mix :: , , 2 reflections | edit post

Can't buy it, cant find it, can't look for it,no one can help you get it.
Lies within you. Its for you to discover!
caboodle mix :: , 5 reflections | edit post
The summer is finally out. Feels so good to be back into my torn pair of shorts and tee's!!! Its beautiful. The day is longer, prettier. The early sunset used to make me feel gloomy.. It drizzled in the morning.. The grass still gleaming with raindrops..

I feel good... I feel good!!

I was out,lingering around the stairs. She walked upto me and said, "The marks won't go you know". I snapped back my hands close to my body as a reflex. How could I have forgotten? How could I be so stupid? * eyebrows curling up immediately * I looked down,at my toes and replied "How do you know? " * very uncomfortable and reluctant to make this conversation * Then she showed, there they were . Looked familiar. Felt sick.

We've been living together since the past two years, and I had no clue that she'd gone through such a phase when all doors were closed for her. When she had no one who could help her. That drove her to those measures of insanity. I felt ashamed. Then I noticed her looking around, probably thinking the same.

I realised I deplored the sickening impulsive decision, I'd taken that night. I wanted to tell her the same. But could not even look into her eyes straight. You feel like its the end of the world but its not. I have to be more sensible, stronger,less sensitive. I held her hand and took a deep breath,feeling her relaxing as well. Felt like puppets being made to enact two versions of the same play! I promised never to do it. Made her do the same. * glad this happened *
caboodle mix :: , , 7 reflections | edit post