I do not want to be the one he can live with, but the one he can't live without.
2 years ago
Its weird how you want him most when he just can not stand you.
You just make it worse by seeking him even more.
You just make it worse by seeking him even more.
Irony!
Try as I may, there are some things that I just can not change. These things over shadow all the rest of my efforts and I am back to square one at the end of the long day.
I used to be very emotional. In the sense that I always needed someone for sharing my joy, happiness, anger, troubles, problems anything.. I was not emotionally strong enough. I feel I have come a long way. I feel proud to say that there is not one person anymore whom I'm dependent on. Without whom I would feel handicapped. No sir, and that is an achievement for me. It was about time I learnt this.
I was weak and in capable of looking after myself. I am now more independent than most people my age, living by myself all alone in this alien country fending for myself doing everything for myself. I needed to learn this as it was about time I left the nest of my parents and learnt to handle the big-bad-world head on.
I used to let anybody wreck my life into pieces, being so sensitive. I was told that "making me happy is nobody's obligation". I feel proud to say that no one, absolutely no one can take the smile off my face anymore. My heart is now like a brick wall that is quite difficult to penetrate.
Having said all this, there are many things that I can still not control. Try as I may, I just can not.. These weaknesses haunt me like a ghost. Bringing back skeletons from the past slapping me whack on my face and making me feel like a loser.
Is it alright for me, not to apply the above rules for ONE person in my life? Or am I being foolish in doing so? Is this where the key to my ultimate isolation n happiness lies?
I wonder...
I'm hurting...
I used to be very emotional. In the sense that I always needed someone for sharing my joy, happiness, anger, troubles, problems anything.. I was not emotionally strong enough. I feel I have come a long way. I feel proud to say that there is not one person anymore whom I'm dependent on. Without whom I would feel handicapped. No sir, and that is an achievement for me. It was about time I learnt this.
I was weak and in capable of looking after myself. I am now more independent than most people my age, living by myself all alone in this alien country fending for myself doing everything for myself. I needed to learn this as it was about time I left the nest of my parents and learnt to handle the big-bad-world head on.
I used to let anybody wreck my life into pieces, being so sensitive. I was told that "making me happy is nobody's obligation". I feel proud to say that no one, absolutely no one can take the smile off my face anymore. My heart is now like a brick wall that is quite difficult to penetrate.
Having said all this, there are many things that I can still not control. Try as I may, I just can not.. These weaknesses haunt me like a ghost. Bringing back skeletons from the past slapping me whack on my face and making me feel like a loser.
Is it alright for me, not to apply the above rules for ONE person in my life? Or am I being foolish in doing so? Is this where the key to my ultimate isolation n happiness lies?
I wonder...
I'm hurting...
