I've been getting a strong urge to go out there and live alone, for quite sometime now. Face the big bad world myself, away from my family and friends; away from their love and protection. At least not until I'm completely self reliant, not until I've seen it all out there, not until my heart gives the signal.

Its strange how I keep planning for this crazy dream of mine. How when I'm happy, I start wondering how I'd react if I were alone. How, when I'm sad, I wonder how I'll handle myself. I crave to wake up alone, cook for myself and do all my chores just for myself. Get back home to again plan the next day, that should of course revolve around me. The more I think about it, I just know I have to do this at least once. Live alone for a few years or I'd regret not having done it when I'm elder. I admit I'm a bit sad right now, but it has nothing to do with what I'm writing. If anything, I'm just very expressive which is good, since I've been trying to write for quite a few days but haven't completed a single entry. Those who've been following(my blog) may know how I cant write unless I feel very strongly about something.

I tried explaining this to my mother by citing the example of a bird. Even she HAS to leave her nest and go out into the real world. It scared her a little. She dint react until she made sure I was serious about what I said. I'm not so sure she still understands but this is precisely what I want a break from. I want to live for me. I did not tell her that it is this dream of mine that keeps me going at the moment. I know it is not going to be a bed of roses, it is in fact going to be the very opposite. But, I also know that after I've done this, my perspective of looking at any situation will be very different. I would finally start worrying about things that really matter rather than wasting my mind/energy/peace over tiny issues.

I would be able to say "I lived life".
caboodle mix :: , , edit post
15 Responses
  1. Sandi Says:

    The first time I ever lived alone I was 52 years old! It was a little scary and a little sad - for about 4 days. Then I LOVED it. Total control of the house, of my time. I could eat and sleep when I wanted. Hang pictures, arrange rooms, everything just the way I wanted it. It was great!

    Best of luck whichever way you decide.

  2. Dagny Says:

    I hope u get to do it soon!
    it would be fun, i agree.

    But maybe it isn't always either-or, staying alone cut-off form civilisation or the world. Not so extreme

  3. sundeep Says:

    Sometimes you have to find time for yourself reflecting.However I don't think anyone can ever live alone.You want is just more freedom.Just Spend some time alone.The outside world is really cruel.Believe me.That does not mean you have to stop dreaming and believing in yourself.

  4. shrey Says:

    More than anything else... your blog makes me think a lot... i just tried to imagine myself living alone... cut off from people... and whew... i sure wouldnt want to try that... but i hope you get to do it... and please dont ever stop writing.. i wanna see where your life goes.... i am "pretty" sure of one thing.. its either gonna be very happy or very sad... one of the two extremes... i just hope its the former... all the best!

  5. ira Says:

    Sandi> did you wish you'd had this experience earlier? I'm sure the liberation must have been hard to deal with but once you enjoy it, its all worth it.

    Dagny> not cut off from civilization, just from people whom I'm too attached with. How else can I get self reliant if I still have them to bank on? And of course, the fun! :D

    Sundeep> I disagree, I feel one must have at least one experience of having lived alone. I don't have any killat(scarcity) of alone time. What I want is something different.

    Shrey> Not away from civilization! Away from my family and friends, away from their love and protection.
    Thanks! I hope so too!

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  7. ash89 Says:

    i think u shud try it out...wud b a good experience...

  8. CM-Chap Says:

    Hey sooner or later it will happen due to the demands of todays life... So jst hold on and prepare urself.

    Later u may hv to wait for long periods to go home.... As I'm now. I'm livg outside of my home for past 10 years.

  9. MonekyDa Says:

    bravo .... bravo ... just don't get carried away

  10. ira Says:

    monkeyda>hehe...you know me too well! :)

  11. Sandhya Says:

    Hi ira

    first i just wanna say dat ur name is so beautiful:-)

    but i wud say that there are pros and cons of everythg. Even i wanna stay alone but when i think abt some necessity thgs of life like cooking n all these things, the next moment i drop my idea.....

  12. ira Says:

    Thanks! You have a lovely name too..! :)
    Ahh... Given all that, I still want to live alone. Just have too, maybe my post did not do justice to the urgency I feel about it.
    Take Care...N hey! summers are not so bad after all...! :)

  13. Sandhya Says:

    Hi Ira,

    Thanx 4 dropping by and leaving ur suggestion:-)

    m learning Salsa dance. Its a couple dance but u know summers has made it worst.

  14. NRkey Menon Says:

    Liked the explanation thru birds nest thing. Its sounds so simple yet never came to my mind.