When I was in sixth grade. I studied in "Rajmata Krishna Kumari Girls Public School" (RKKGPS) it was this school owned by the king of Jodhpur (yeah they still exist!) Loved being there for a year. One of the best year of my life. It was a day boarding school, the class strength was not allowed to exceed 20! So we'd all get personal attention. But how the head of the institute manage to know us all, still beats me!

A month before the distribution of the annual reports, Mrs. Brar(the head) would start collect the report cards and write comments about the students in each one of them. Mine read " Has leadership qualities, always smiling!" I want to go 9yrs back and turn into the same Ira. The one who was carefree, her favourite quote being " Live Life To The Fullest". She took each day at a time, was confident and in control of the things going on in her life, very frank and straight forward.

Where did I lose myself? Was it between all those switching of schools and trying to adjust in a new back ground every alternate year? or The gruelling competitive exams? or Joining college and taking my first steps into the real world? Things seem to be going wayward. Every time I try and get things back into track, something triggers the negetive feelings stored in my mind. This constant minor depression lingers over me all day, I tried finding sollutions and working them as well but none seem to help.
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5 Responses
  1. du Says:

    Dont worry, we always are what we are and at times certain parts go dormant but they resurface for sure if you strongly relate to them and besides you've got 'A' givin u all the love.. so you're not missing out on da love n care part.. :) hope you regain what you miss.. gud luck!

  2. ira Says:

    Wish it was that simple. Wish I could voice my thoughts more clearly. There are times when I'm being compelled into being someone I'm not. The most essential parts of me are being curbed and I can do nothing about it. :(

  3. du Says:

    Its a free world.. being yourself wouldnt be difficult if you decide so..If there is anyone curbing you, its your own self..anyway, below is the actual reason of me hitting up yr page..

    The art of losing isn't hard to master. So many things seem filled with the intent To be lost that their loss is no disaster

    Read these lines by Elizabeth Bishop and for some strange reason, the first thing came to my mind was this particular entry

  4. Atit Says:

    relax da..life is too simple to be complicted.

  5. ira Says:

    Wish it was! *groan*
    How are you? I'm worried about you. Will call in a few days.