tunia


1. My brother is a perfect boy friend, he is very possessive about his girl. He can instruct me about how I should talk to her/deal with her/treat her. But can never do the same with her cause she might feel bad. If all three of us are together, he will expect me to understand if the whole of his attention is diverted towards her for she is new to our family and should feel comfortable. He can easily ask me to leave if he’s talking to her over the phone. I should understand, they are after all seeing each other, they deserve the privacy. About me feeling bad, well it is out of the question.

My boy friend is a perfect brother, he is very possessive about his sister. He can instruct me about how to talk to her or deal with her/treat her. But can never do the same with her cause she might feel bad. . If all three of us are together, he will expect me to understand if the whole of his attention is diverted towards her for I am new to the family and she might feel awkward if he pays more attention towards me than her. He can easily ask me to hang up if we’re talking and his sister happens to enter the room. I should understand, she is after all his sister, she might feel awkward. About me feeling bad, well it is out of the question.
I understand how both of them feel. I dont like being the one who has to understand.

2. I have become very quite generally. My family thinks I have grown into the stage where I feel more comfortable talking/discussing with people my age. E.g. with my boyfriend. They believe me to be very attached to him and quite dependent on him. When I am upset, they assume I’ll be ok in a while. I’ll talk it out with Anant after all he’s my boy friend, I must be comfortable discussing all sorts of things with him, if not with them.

My boy friend is a very independent person. He expects me not to be dependent on anybody. He is very attached with his family and assumes me to be ok when we have fought etc… after all I have my family to bank on. He likes being on his own when he is upset, I hence do not feel too comfortable going up to him when I am upset cause I feel he wont understand my need to talk right then.
I hate being on my own when I am upset, too lonely to describe.

3. I have few friends in college. Most of them have left and are working. Well, the ones in college think I am too attached to my other friends so maybe that’s why I do not talk too much or share stuff with them. They think I am too busy with other chores because of which I do not spend time with them.

The ones who are working think I have friends in college and of course my school friends as well, so maybe that’s why I do not talk too much with them or share stuff with them. They think I am too busy with other chores because of which I do not spend time with them.

The ones from school are very attached with their college friends and have their own lives. They assume I am attached with my friends from college and that’s why do not talk too much with them or share stuff with them. They think I am too busy with other chores because of which I do not spend time with them.
I miss my sister who is no more and my sister who lives out of town, whom I get to meet once a year.

4. I share a weird relationship with my brother. He usually takes me for granted cause I am four years younger to him. We are hardly friends cause he has always been an elder brother figure for me. At times he is very rude with me, but I cant really complain about it, whom should I complain to?

I share a very strange relationship with my boy friend, it is too formal. I usually do not discuss family troubles with him cause he would NEVER discuss stuff about his family, so it would obviously be weird if I did.
I wish neither of the above were true, sadly both are.

5. I am applying to universities for my masters next year. My family thinks I am applying cause Anant is applying too.

Anant would be ARE-YOU-OUT-OF-YOUR-MIND if he got to know this.

I think I am applying cause I want to be on my own and I really want to do this.
AM I over reacting or is my life really screwed?
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3 Responses
  1. Sandi Says:

    Your life isn't screwed. But I understand how it is when people view you as different than you really are. It can be very lonely. When I was young, I never got the attention my sister or brother did because everyone thought I was the "strong one". How wrong they were. And how lonely I felt.

    It will get better. You will become stronger and find people who know who YOU really are.


  2. barty Says:

    Here's something... you haven't spoken about your parents in this situation. You would be amazed at what can come out of speaking to them - a friend of mine once said 'Parents are capable of handling a lot more than you give them credit for' - trust me, I have tested that strength many times, and they always come out on top for me. Maybe I am like the others you speak of, and closer to my parents, but trust me, there is rarely something you are feeling that they haven't felt before. Not only that, but if you talk to them maturely, without feeling embarassed or ashamed or awkward in any way about anything you have to tell them, they take it much more seriously. They can usually see when you are not feeling right, and can tell that something is wrong, but they rely on you to tell them what is wrong. Sometimes you have to grab their attention and show them that you really need them, and they will comply happily - parents (good ones) always love being involved in their children's lives.


  3. Dagny Says:

    u seem to mirror me exactly (i dont care how cliche'd it sounds, its the truth), though in my part of the story the boyfriend and the brother are played by some other people.

    i know how it feels, as if being strong is a curse, as if there are two lives to be juggled.

    BTW, I'm back!! yippie!
    more in the mail